email from the dead

So there's a big debate about the state of email accounts belonging to people who die and who has the right to access them. If you die, should your parents/family/wife get to access your account and read your email? On the pro side, I'm sure your family would want to be able to contact people and let them know. I've got lots of friends that I keep in touch with on a strictly-email basis. I remember when I was in college, thinking would my email friends every know what happened to me if I died. Probably not. But who cares, it's just over email.
Along those lines, a jackass I know recently posted on his own website that he had died. There was his name, a picture and his dates of birth and death along with the words "rest in peace". It turns out it was a big hoax. Apparently it was his attempt to 're-invent his persona' or some nonsense like that. The thing that occurred to me was, if I was this guy's friend and just happened to chance upon his web site and he hadn't had the chance to tell me what it was all about, I might be pretty distraught. As it was, it was more of a curiosity than anything else.
The state of life and death is not as well-defined online as it is in the real world. When my grandmother died, I made a website for her family and friends where we could share pictures and stories about her. When I made the email account for people to email their memories to me, I made it in her name. The thing I didn't realize is that when I wrote these people back, they would go to their email boxes and see the name of my dead grandmother staring back at them. I think the shock was probably lessened some by the fact that my grandmother didn't have email when she was alive, but who knows what kind of access they have up in heaven.
In addition to this, if you're on friendster, you may have a dead person or two in your friend list. I remember there was a story about a girl who died in my town and I went and found her blog. It was just sitting there, the last entry dated a few days before her car accident. It was pretty eerie to read some of her last, inane thoughts which she penned, completely oblivious to her impending doom.
So what to do? How to solve this moral dilemma? Well apparently, it's already decided. All you really need to do is get the courts involved and you can have your access, provided you can show that you're a parent or loved one. So much for privacy. My advice? Send yourself fake emails so that if you die tragically and your mom and dad go sniffing through your personal stuff, they'll be horrified to learn that you were leading a secret gay life or you were aiding terrorists or something. Be creative! The possibilities are endless. Just as long as you make them feel bad. After all, they deserve it for being nosy.

happy holidays!

Hey everyone, hope your holiday is going well. The sketch group I'm in, the animals from the future, have posted a holiday greeting on our website. It's a short video we made about the very first christmas and it stars my friend Rob Wagman. Check it out and feel free to pass it on to your friends.
Happy Holidays!

hooray for presents

So it's a week before christmas. Went to a few christmas parties last night. Got a little too drunk at the work one so I went over to the improv olympic one after that. That's always a blast. If I act like an ass, nobody cares. So that's a plus. I leave for 'home' tomorrow night. I prefer the red eye, actually. It's less crowded, less of a hassle. I can't really sleep on a plane but it's nice to sit in the dark under a blanket, put the seat back (hopefully I can get a reclining emergency exit row seat) and just space out. I still haven't gotten the results of my cat scan and stress test, so that's been weighing over me pretty heavily. It's kind of overwhelming right now, between the holidays, breaking up wtih danielle and the lack of activity in my career. I have to look at this as a transition period that I will get through eventually. It'll be good to get away to florida for a few weeks. I'll be able to think things over, but hopefully not too much. Pickles might join me at disneyworld, we'll see. that would be cool. anyway, I hope everyone's having a happy holiday and I'm sure I'll be checking in here while I'm away. I love you all.

love's biggest loser

So in case you haven't heard through the grapevine, my girlfriend of six months and I have broken up. I've been thinking about how/if I should write about that here. I guess I'm not going through anything that everybody else hasn't gone through before, but it honestly feels like the end of the world. Danielle was/is my best friend and I will always love her very much. But now, added to that, I also hate her very much. This is the thing I am currently dealing with: trying to stay civil and be mature without stooping to my usual antics that result in girls crying. I don't know why I'm even writing this. Who cares? What's the point? I should probably just shut up and move on with it. Anyway, if anyone wants to give me $12,000, that might make things better.

I've become too mature!

Today I was driving in my sensible, eco-friendly car from my semi-full time job and the thought occurred to me that perhaps I have become too mature. I have a girlfriend and I sometimes wear a sweater over a collared shirt. I take vitamins and medicetions to control my cholestorol level. Alot of times I will decide not to drink or stay out late because I have to get up early the next morning.
With all this responsible living, no wonder I have no time for the shenanigans and hijinks of my not-so-distant past. Just a year ago, I was living in a crappy two-bedroom apartment with four other people, crank-calling the home shopping network for fun. When I wanted to "eat healthy", I would go to del taco instead of burger king.
One thing I've noticed is that when you become mature, you often engage in the same activities as before, but in a different way. For example, mature people are still allowed to play video games, just not at two o'clock in the afternoon on a wednesday. What's the sense in that? Do I like eating pizza? Sure, but not on a "plate". A "plate" which I will then have to "wash" while I'm "doing the dishes". It's just wasteful! Ditto "taking out the trash", "doing laundry" and "using toilet paper".
I think the answer is simple: throw off the shackles of my old life and revert to a primal, animal-like state. Goodbye job! Goodbye sensible, eco-friendly car! Goodbye underpants!
Meet the new Eric. The new Eric is always up for a good time. The new Eric is always available to go down to the mall and tell the kids in line that there's no Santa Claus. If you piss me off, I will call your parents and I will pretend to be a CHP officer and I will tell them that you are dead. So watch out world, the new Eric is grabbing the toothbrush of immaturity and brushing the plaque of responbility from the teeth of his life!

tonight

I just got back from a memorial service at improv olympic for a guy named matt carey who died last week. to be honest, I didn't even know matt, but it's a pretty tight community there so I thought I would go and pay my respects. it was really nice, I'm glad I went. I mean, it's basically a tragedy. a guy that young just dying out of the blue. with a wife. but here was this theater full of people. packed. probably 200 people. so many they were out in the lobby watching everything on a tv. and everyone was laughing. they read sketches, jokes, showed some videos. people shared their memories. they read emails from people all over the country who knew this guy. he was obviously very talented and these people really seemed to be touched by knowing him. this is one of his jokes that someone read:

What tastes really bad right after you brush your teeth in the morning?
Poop.

I feel really bad that I never got to know matt carey. when comedy comes out of love and joy towards life, people can't help but respond to it.

Is it just me?

National Treasure is again the number one rated movie in America? Really?
Now, I hate when people trash a movie they haven't even seen, but that said, I'm going to trash a movie I haven't even seen. My reason is simple: I really don't think Nicolas Cage needs this kind of encouragement. It's bad enough that he keeps getting work after putting out crappy movie after crappy movie, but now that he's had something that could be considered a 'hit', it's only going to get worse.
On it's own, it's a huge waste of money when a movie studio puts out a bad movie. What did this thing cost? I don't know, but easily over 100 million dollars. Think about it. How many starving Chinese kids could you feed with that much money? OK, so you don't like Chinese kids, you could still feed some African kids or even kids in this country. Or maybe you could use the money to pay down the debt, or buy some missles or whatever. The point is, it's a lot of money to go towards something awful. I would prefer that the money be spent on anthrax. I mean that.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm no communist. You can spend a ton of dough on a movie and if it comes out looking like the Lord of the Rings or even Sp;iderman 2, that's money well spent. But if you're shelling out that kind of dough for the kind of crap that makes people in other countries hate us, then you are, yourself, a bad person. And don't try and tell me that at any point would a rational person ever say "hmm, big budget holiday blockbuster starring Nicolas Cage where he goes on a treasure hunt using the dollar bill as a map... sounds good!" The people who made this movie knew it would suck. They were lazy and they took a gamble and put their faith in the Hollywood hype machine and they managed to win this time.
Now the real crime in all of this is that by going to see this movie, the public is sending a message that they want more crap like this. More Nicolas Cage action movies. But that's a free market economy, right? Give the people what they want. But is this what they want? Or is it what they'll take? And is that enough, to play to the lowest common denominator like this? Look, I'm not going to deny that I'm the real victim here, but I'm not the only one. What about those Chinese kids? Imagine if you not only had to watch "National Treasure" you had to watch a shaky, handheld camcorder, pirated-version, black market copy of "National Treasure". And plus you're starving. Well, maybe Mr. Nicolas Cage is OK with that, sitting in his Hollywood mansion, eating crepes and butter pecan cookies, but frankly it makes me sick.

in case I forgot

In case I forgot to mention this, check out this short film I was in written and directed by my friend Marc Kravitz. Do it!

I love the McRib!!!

Seriously. I don't understand why they don't have it on the menu all the time. When it comes back, no less than five of my friends will call me to give me a heads-up, my pro-McRib views are that well known. It's all the best part of eating ribs - the meat, the sauce, the bun, without any of the bad stuff - bones, pickles and onions! Plus it's processed! I can't even begin to fathom the so-called criticisms against this culinary delight. I've heard many people complain that they don't like how the patty is molded to look like a rack of ribs, with little bumps where there would normally be bones. If you don't take the bun off, you won't see that anyway so shut up. But you should take off the bun and have a look before digging in, it's a beautiful sight. Personally, I like to take the bun off and then just lick my sandwich a few times before eating it. It's that good.
One thing I wonder about, I remember a few years ago it was "The McRib - featuring Bullseye BBQ sauce!" and then suddenly it wasn't. Yet it tasted the same. Now this could mean two things. Either, the McRib has always had Bullseye BBQ sauce and they just decided to advertise it for that short time or perhaps the McRib never had Bullseye BBQ sauce at all and it was just a big scam. But that unpleasant controversy aside, the McRib is awesome. It really doesn't matter to me what kind of BBQ sauce it has, because it is delicious. Plus it's only 2 bucks! Alot of the time I will go and just buy three or four of those instead of getting the value meal. Don't get me wrong, fries are fine, but I'd rather not waste the space in my stomach if I could instead pack it full of McRibs. Which is analogous to how I feel about working. You've got a limited amount of time on earth, why waste it at work? But that's beside the point. Go eat a McRib and think of me and if you're a vegetarian give me some money and I'll eat a few for you.

What's up jerks? Just kidding, you're not jerks. It's friday and I'm ready to leave. Nothing great planned for the weekend, but any time I don't have to work is ok with me. I had an awesome thanksgiving. Danielle and I went down to San Diego to spend the weekend with my aunt & uncle, 3 cousins, 2 cousin-in-laws and 4 little second cousins. Plus a dog, a cat and various fish and coyotes. Danielle and I slept outside in an RV and froze our asses off, but it was fun. It was one of the better thanksgivings I can remember. To me the holidays are about family - and lots of it. Maybe I'm the only one, but I don't hate my family. I actually like spending time with them. My aunt and uncle have this custom of naming their dogs the same thing: fang. The new dog is currently Fang IV. He's a white german sheppard. He's really cute. Not too well-behaved but he seems to be improving. Technically I guess he's still a puppie even though he's huge - well over 100 pounds. Danielle liked my family and they seemed to like her too. She was surprised that they didn't ask her 1000 nosy questions about her life and what she does. As horrible and annoying as that sounds, I think she was disappointed. She told me it's a "jewish thing". So I punched her. I am currently in a time of flux, webpage-wise. I don't know if I should keep my old style webpage or just switch over completely to a blog. It seems to be the way of the future. It's certainly an easier way to keep things up-to-date and organized. Who knows. Too bad I can't punch the internet.
Back to my (for now) webpage.