Worst band ever - the Barenaked Ladies

Seriously, they suck. You might not even realize it because you probably haven't even thought about them in seven years or so, but they do. I haven't even heard that much of their music but what I have heard is so god-awful, that even if the rest was on par with the Beatles, it still wouldn't cancel out all the horrible musical energy these douchebags have created.

Now I'm not one to back up my wild accusations with "facts" or "reasonable arguments" but consider this:

The Barenaked Ladies are from Canada.

Yeah, that's right. APOLOGY ACCEPTED. Has Canada ever put out any good music? To answer this question with anything but "No" immediately labels you as a retard.

"But what about Celine Dion?" - if you're anyone but someone's 50 year old mother, you're either 600 pounds or Harvey Firestein.

"Rush is good, though" - you are 35 and live at home with your parents (and not because you had heart surgery).

"Are you kidding? Bryan Adams is awesom--- OW, THAT HURTS, WHY ARE YOU BEATING ME ABOUT THE HEAD, NECK, FACE AND CHEST???"

And that's it. There is no other Canadian music. Since I have proven that all Canadian music is horrible, beyond a reasonable doubt, the Barenaked Ladies must also be horrible.

Oh sure, I could point out that the only people who like the Barenaked Ladies are usually women who are less than "asthetically pleasing". I guess they think, "hey, that lead singer is kinda fat too, I bet he wouldn't mind this water park innertube I call a mid-section." But I'm not gonna do that.

I'm also not going to point out that they're the only people in the world who don't realize they're in a joke band. I saw an interview with these clowns where they were talking about how they want to be taken as serious musicians. They had written a song about one of their friends who died or something and they started getting choked up. I couldn't believe it. If I had been interviewing these goons, I would have slapped them and said, "Hey dickbags, you're one step down from Dr. Demento. Weird Al has more street cred than you. Now shut the hell up and go be the opening act for Carrot Top."

This is off-topic, but I also realized why women go back and sleep with their loser ex-boyfriends: It's so they can have sex without raising their total number of people they've slept with! I'm so proud of myself for figuring that out I just had to add it into this blog even thought it has nothing to do with the Barenaked Ladies, who suck.

So in summation, the Barenaked Ladies are the worst band ever and if you like them, there's something wrong with you and you should probably get a lobotomy or something like that. I know that mainstream psychiatry doesn't really do those anymore but I'm sure you could find some back alley abortionist or crack addict who would.

And hockey sucks too.