BUY THIS

Ok, you know me, you read my blog, I'm not all about "sharing my feelings" or "telling the truth" or "creating lasting relationships". What I am about is "sarcastic quotes" and "making up stories" and "slander" (or is it libel?). Anyway, the point is, I am going to use this post to gush like a little girl and beg you to go out and buy the album Extraordinary Machine by Fiona Apple.

If you know me in real life, you know that my iPod is loaded with cheesy 80's power ballads and even sitcom theme songs. My music taste could probably be considered "ironic". Why is this? Because 99% of music sucks. Yes, your favorite band too. Especially them. 3 years from now you won't like them. So I have taken this fact and done what I can, what I have done with most television: I enjoy it on an ironic level. The remaining 1% of music that is actually good, I am passionate about. Like you are with Green Day or System of a Down.

My favorite artist is Fiona Apple. My favorite album is (for the purpose of this blog) When the Pawn... My favorite song ever is Paper Bag, track number five of the aforementioned album, though that may be changing.

Now I know what you're thinking, Eric, you are an insensitive jerk who laughs openly at the misfortunes of others. You are not an overly sensitive 15 year old girl who hates her parents and writes her own poetry. I know why you would say that and you're wrong.

I saw Fiona Apple at the MTV awards. I saw her roll her eyes when PT Anderson lost at the oscars. I saw the clip of her melting down on stage. But if you've come to this conclusion, you haven't listened to her music or maybe you remember her from that weird night vision cam video for Criminal.

As good as Tidal is, for a first album or any album, I thought it was just a fluke. When When the Pawn... came out I listened to a few of the same songs over and over and thought, wow, this is really good. Six months later I discovered the rest of the album and fell in love. This is when I discovered the kind of musical perfection that Mozart and Beethoven aspired to. This is not hyperbole. There are songs on that album that are perfect. Perfect. And not just one. Paper Bag, Love Ridden and I Know, for example.

Overall, the album works as a unique and lovely masterpiece of terrible pain and longing. It's not enough to just tell people about your suffering and your hope, music needs to make you feel it. And that's where so many people fail so miserably today.

Anyway, I'm not here to push those albums, though I highly recommend you give them a serious listen to. Today I am here to beg you to go to iTunes or the local record store or wherever and buy Extraordinary Machine, the new album by Fiona Apple. I admit, I have yet to fully "get into" this album because like so often happens, I fall in love with one track and listen to it over and over. If you still don't believe me, go on iTunes and buy this one track. Give it a fair chance and I swear to god, you will go out and buy this album. This may be my new favorite song.


"O' Sailor"

I'm undecided about you again
I can be right that you're not here
It's double sided 'cause I ruined it all
But also saved myself
by never believing you dear

Everything good I deem too good to be true
Everything else is just a bore
Everything I have to look forward to
Has a pretty painful and very imposing before

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Saying there's nothing to it
Then lettin' it go by the boards

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Saying there's nothing to it
Then lettin' it go by the boards

I have too been playing with fifty-two cards
Just 'cause I play so far from my vest
Whatever I've got, I've got no reason to guard
What could I do but spend my best

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Saying there's nothing to it
Then lettin' it go by the boards

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Saying there's nothing to it
Then lettin' it go by the boards

And after waiting, fighting patiently on my knees
All the other stuff tired itself out first, not me
And in its wake appeared the touch and call of a different breed
One of the steps is getting wise and got me there and then got me

And what a thing to know what could be instead
Oh what a blessed curse to see
Took the agenda from its place in my bed
Made a merry paramour of me

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Saying there's nothing to it
Then lettin' it go by the boards

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Given the eyes to view it
As it goes by the boards

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Saying there's nothing to it
Then lettin' it go by the boards

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Saying there's nothing to it
Then lettin' it go by the boards

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Given the eyes to view it
As it goes by the boards

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Given the eyes to view it
As it goes by the boards