So you don't think monsters are real?

Check this out.

(CNN) -- Police in northern Ohio on Monday rescued eight children whose parents told authorities they kept the kids in locked cages for their own protection.

Why the hell would anyone keep a child in a cage? What kind of monster would do that?

I think you're asking the wrong question. The monsters aren't the ones locking children in cages. The monsters are the ones in the cages. These people are going to be vilified for what they've done, but to me, they're heroes.

Think I'm crazy? Think I'm an awful person for calling children "monsters"? Well maybe that's true, but suck on this, jerks:

"They thought there was circumstances with these children that warranted the cages at night," Sommers added, but he would not go into details of what those circumstances were.

"Would not go into details of what those circumstances were."

I'll tell you what those "circumsntances" were. Werewolves. That's right: werewolves.

Think about it, why would you need to lock a child up in a cage? At night? When the moon comes out? Children are harmless, unless they've been bitten by the unholy lords of the darkness. A child werewolf is still a werewolf and is capable of causing much damage, believe me, I know.

"Basically, the parents thought they were providing for the protection of the children from themselves and from each other."

C'mon, open your eyes, people. The writing is on the wall. These aren't social animals, cuddly little puppies who sit on your lap and give old ladies a boner. These are werewolves. And their parents were just trying to protect them. And protect us.

That's right; you and me. Because if these little monsters get out and wreak havoc on the world, they will destroy society. Once again man will be forced to huddle around the fires at night, wearing furs and carrying clubs, afraid of what lies beyond... in the darkness.